The Grief We Don’t Talk About: Finding Hope, Faith, and Grace in Life’s Hard Seasons

What if grief isn’t only about losing someone we love?

That was one of the powerful questions explored during my conversation with Laura Sharp-Waites, a licensed minister, pastoral counselor, and the voice behind The Baking Pastor. Laura helps people navigate seasons of burnout, grief, trauma, and life’s difficult transitions by creating space to slow down, breathe, and reconnect with God.

And as our conversation revealed, sometimes the things we are grieving aren't immediately obvious.

Meet “The Baking Pastor”

Laura’s nickname actually began during her first church ministry.

She was serving an older congregation whose members preferred in-person visits rather than phone calls or text messages. Laura would visit them and quickly discovered that coffee was usually part of the experience.

So she started bringing baked goods along with her.

Before long, the congregation began calling her “the baking pastor.” The name has stuck ever since.

Even today, Laura continues to bake and bring goodies when visiting people—and sometimes she simply shows up at someone's house with something she has made.

But behind the baking is a ministry centered around something much deeper: presence.

Grief Isn't Always About Death

One of the biggest takeaways from my conversation with Laura was her explanation that grief can come from many different kinds of loss and change.

We often associate grief with the death of a loved one. But Laura explained that people can also experience grief when they change jobs, move, lose relationships, change schools, experience health problems, or face other major changes in their lives.

Sometimes we don't even realize we're grieving.

Laura compared unresolved grief to a snowball rolling downhill. It can continue collecting more and more until eventually it becomes a heavy burden we carry with us.

That burden can contribute to exhaustion and burnout.

It can even leave someone going to bed tired and waking up tired.

And sometimes staying busy doesn't solve the problem. In fact, Laura explained that keeping ourselves constantly occupied can simply postpone dealing with what we're feeling. Once everything gets quiet, those unresolved emotions can come rushing back.

What Cancer Taught Laura About Slowing Down

Laura also opened up about her own cancer journey.

During chemotherapy, there were days when simply getting out of bed was difficult. She shared a memorable story about her chocolate Lab nudging her because he needed to go outside.

Sometimes Laura had enough energy to stand at the door and wait for him. Other days, she would have to lie down on the couch while waiting for him to return.

Cancer forced her to slow down in ways she had never experienced before.

Before cancer, Laura loved checklists and getting things accomplished. But during treatment, she realized that beating herself up over an unfinished to-do list wasn't helping.

Instead, she began thinking of her lists as “to-want lists”—things she would like to accomplish rather than things that absolutely had to be done immediately.

That change in perspective gave her permission to focus on healing instead of constantly measuring herself by what she had accomplished.

Laura is now five years cancer-free and continues to have regular follow-up scans and tests.

“Worship Me in the Wait”

One of the most memorable moments Laura shared was something she felt God impressed upon her during her cancer treatment:

“I want you to worship me in the wait.”

Cancer involved a lot of waiting—waiting for appointments, waiting in doctors' offices, waiting for procedures, waiting for results, and waiting for her body to heal.

Instead of allowing that waiting to become a source of frustration, Laura began looking for ways to use those moments differently.

Who could she pray for?

Who could she encourage?

Who could she reach out to?

That changed her perspective.

Rather than focusing entirely on what wasn't getting done, she began focusing on God and the people around her.

Giving Ourselves Grace

Another important part of our conversation was the idea that we often give other people more grace than we give ourselves.

Laura recalled a time during chemotherapy when someone called her husband and said they wanted to stop by for a short visit and bring a meal.

Her first reaction was that she didn't feel like getting up.

But she eventually did—and the visit lasted only about 15 minutes.

Afterward, she realized that she had been viewing the visit as a burden when it was actually an opportunity for someone else to bless her.

It reminded her that she needed to give herself the same grace she would give a friend going through a difficult season.

Staying Connected to God in Everyday Life

Laura describes her morning routine as “coffee with God.”

She spends time reading Scripture and devotionals, praying, listening to worship music, and simply being quiet.

But her relationship with God doesn't stop when that morning routine ends.

Laura described talking to God throughout the day just as she would talk to a close friend.

That perspective helps her remain aware of God's presence in ordinary moments.

And sometimes, she says, someone's name will simply come to mind. When that happens, she may send that person a message letting them know she's praying for them.

Don't Miss What's Right in Front of You

Laura also challenged me to think about how often we move through life without actually noticing what's around us.

She told a story about a family who lived near a church but didn't even realize the church was there.

Their lives were so busy that they drove past it every day without really seeing it.

That story led us into a broader conversation about being present—not just with God, but with other people.

How many of us know our neighbors?

How often do we put down our phones and actually talk to the people sitting around us?

How often do we slow down enough to notice the people and opportunities God has placed directly in front of us?

Sometimes slowing down isn't about doing less.

It's about being present for what matters.

Hope Takes Time

As “The Baking Pastor,” Laura naturally brought baking into our conversation about hope.

She compared hope to making bread.

When you mix dough and add yeast, you don't immediately see what's happening. The process takes time.

You can't stand there staring at the dough and force it to rise.

And if you try to rush the process, you can actually ruin it.

Laura compared that to the way we sometimes approach life.

We want immediate answers.

We want immediate healing.

We want immediate results.

But sometimes we have to allow God to work beneath the surface before we see what He's doing.

As Laura put it, sometimes we need to “get out of our own way.”

You Don't Have to Go Through It Alone

Toward the end of our conversation, I asked Laura for one word of encouragement for anyone listening.

Her answer was simple:

“You're not alone